To Pair or Not to Pair

In my accountability coaching business, I work with clients to create healthy habits and drop the bad ones. No matter how you eat or when you exercise, our daily schedules are heavily driven by habits. It is easier and proves to be more successful to make small changes in our routines, versus completely revamping our daily lives.

In Gretchen Rubin’s book, Better than Before, she outlines 21 strategies for habit change. Each strategy can be called on when it fits the situation. While some rely on very specific situations such as “the lightning bolt” effect, where a new habit is formed or dropped when a big life change occurs such as a move, a new job or a change in relationship status, others are small and can be called on daily. The strategy of pairing and un-pairing is what I am zeroing in on today.

In the course of a day, there are tasks you need to get done and there are those you want to get done. Creating a priority list (whether literally or mentally) is something we constantly do. Are you one that likes to knock out the difficult or boring jobs first to get it out of the way or are you one that puts those items off because they are unattractive, unfulfilling, etc.?

Start analyzing your health-related activities. Eating nutritiously and moving your body are two broad categories so begin by breaking them down then pairing or un-pairing them.

Pair activities you need to get done with activities you want to do.

For example, you want to listen to the news or a podcast. Pair that with exercise. Tell yourself, in order to listen I must be working out at the same time. Walk the dog, hop on the stationary bike or complete a stretch routine while listening. How about wanting to watch the next episode from your favorite series? Pair that with healthy cooking. Either prepare the dish before you plop on the couch or multitask and cook while you watch.

As you can see, pairing two activities does not have to happen simultaneously. Want to catch up with a friend over a phone call? Tell yourself, I will do my lunges and squats routine before I make the call. Looking forward to meditating, reading or scrolling social media? First, chop the greens and vegetables then store them in the refrigerator for a healthy week of meals ahead. Excited about meeting a friend for a round of golf? Put the work in first and meal plan your dinners before you head out. Breaking down one enjoyable activity and one necessary activity then marrying them together, make pairing manageable and realistic. Just look, you’ve doubled your productivity!

In contrast, un-pairing can be just as beneficial when trying to break a bad habit or rid yourself of an activity that is not serving you. Are you in the habit of drinking wine while cooking dinner? Un-pair the two. Tell yourself, “I can either drink a glass now or cook a meal but not both at the same time.” Please don’t let this be permission to start a liquid diet or feel like I am saying, “No more wine!” You may want to still have that wine, but instead of starting early, save it for when you are actually eating.

Mindless eating is another pitfall. Eating while doing something else like watching TV or scrolling through your phone prevents the awareness of how much you are consuming. By having your mind occupied elsewhere, your brain will not catch the signals from your stomach that says, “I’m satisfied. You can stop eating now.” Un-pair these activities. Eat or watch.

Implement the pairing/un-pairing strategy in the following way. Next time you are patting yourself on the back for making a healthy choice, acknowledge what the activity was and ask, “What can I pair this with to ensure I keep this up?” Likewise, the next time you feel down on yourself for making the wrong choice, stop and ask “What influenced me to do this? How can I change something to avoid me doing this again?” Break these occurrences down into single events so it can be a small but highly effective change.

Pair the good; un-pair the bad. No doubt, change for the good will come about.